Hiding in the Shadow of a Full Moon
by PhoenixFlame121
Summary: Tonks was everything Remus could have imagined. She had awoken a feeling inside him that he hadn't felt in a long time. But how can they live their lives together under the foreboding shadow of a full moon? What will happen in the future; love or death? *ON HIATUS*
1. Chapter 1

Nymphadora Tonks shook out her damp bubble-gum pink hair, ignoring the droplets of rain falling from the ends. Standing at the steps of Grimmauld Place, she peered at the iron-clad door. She traced her finger along a spiral pattern engraved on the cold metal, while muttering an incantation that Dumbledore told her, under her breath. Stepping back, the door silently swung open, revealing a dark, dingy hallway.

Tonks took a cautious step into the hall, lugging a giant purple suitcase behind her, groaning with the effort. Tonks would have like someone from the Order to come with her, maybe her friends like Emmiline or Hestia, but they were all away on assignment. Now that the Death Eaters have gone into a search for something to do with a prophecy, the Aurors have been working full-time. But Kingsley did mention that a bloke named Remus Lupin would be staying at Grimmauld Place, too. Tonks finally managed to sort out her messy appearance, and peered into the dim hallway. The wind caused the door to suddenly slam shut, triggering a rapid torrent of screaming from somewhere in the darkness.

"Filthy mudbloods and traitors prancing about in the house of my fathers! Muggles and oh-so-high wizards tainting the noble blood of my ancestors!"

"Shut-up!"

Tonks pointed her wand at the still-screaming picture hanging on a wall, shutting the pair of curtains, effectively silencing the stern looking woman. Luckily Kingsley had warned her about what to expect, what with Sirius' mother. Shaking her head, Tonks turned to head up the long flight of stairs. Unfortunately, the wheels of her suitcase caught on the bottom step, and the cover flew open, spilling its contents everywhere. Tonks swore loudly.

"Ugh, you stupid good-for-nothing piece of –"

"Need some help with that?"

Tonks looked up to see a tall, brown-haired man standing at the top of the staircase. Though dressed in a torn and shabby coat, he looked as if he was trying hard not to smile. His hair had streaks of gray, though his face held an ageless quality; a sort of sadness was etched in it, but he also had a twinkle in his eyes. Tonks found herself staring slightly open-mouthed, then blushed and looked back down at the mess.

"Oh yes, please," she said.

Coming down, the man chuckled softly, "Welcome to Grimmauld Place. You've met Sirius' mother." He indicated the picture on the wall. "I'm Remus Lupin by the way," he added.

"Nymphadora Tonks, trained Auror, but I prefer to be called Tonks," she grinned.

Remus merely let out a small laugh. "Here, let me help you with that."

Pulling out a wand from inside his coat, he waved it over the scattered objects still on the floor, muttering a spell under his breath. Everything flew neatly into the open trunk and it neatly snapped shut.

"Thanks," Tonks said pulling out her own wand. "I got it from here." Flicking her wand, she pointed it at her luggage. "Locomotor Trunk."

The suitcase obediently hovered in mid-air, and Tonks gently guided it to the second bedroom on the left. Pleased that she hadn't messed anything else up, she turned back to Remus, who was watching her with interest.

"So, when did you get here Remus?" she asked him.

Leaning against the wall, he replied, "Oh just a few days ago. Dumbledore asked me to look over the place while Sirius is away. I was going to go down to the kitchen for a cup of tea, when I hear the portrait screaming away again."

Tonks laughed, "What a welcome,"

"Well, hopefully I can give you a better first impression. Care to join me?"

"Sure, I'd love to," Tonks grinned.

Maybe staying in this cold and drafty house wouldn't be as bad as she first thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus lead the way to the kitchen and started busying himself making the tea. Waving his wand over an empty pot, water appeared and started to bubble. Tonks gingerly pulled out a chair, trying to ignore the dirt and grime piling up in the corners of the room.

"Sorry the house is such a mess," Remus apologize, as if reading her thoughts.

Tonks shrugged casually, "I've been in worse,"

Remus raised an eyebrow in her direction. "Really? Why?" he said as he brought two steaming mugs of ta over.

Gratefully, Tonks sipped the hot drink. "Well, being an Auror I've had to scout stay in some pretty weird places. Like this once cave far up in the mountains that I had to scope out and stay in for a whole week," she shuddered. "Just because we got a tip of some Death Eaters up there, I had to make sure that everything was okay. The cave was horrible, all covered in slime and creepy insects thought it was a nice place to live also…." she trailed off, laughing at Remus' expression. "The cave made this house seem like a 5-star hotel." Remus merely smiled wordlessly.

Tonks propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin on it. "Enough about me, tell me about yourself."

Remus slowly stirred his cup of tea with a spoon for a minute. "Well, nothing much to tell. I taught Defense against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts for a year, and I haven't really done anything exciting after that. Until, of course, I was asked to join the Order."

"Hmm," Tonks stared intently at Remus, who was still stirring his tea. "Why did you only teach for a year?" she prodded. "I bet you were a great teacher," she said matter-of-factly.

Remus smiled, but it was slightly forced, Tonks noticed.

"Oh, no particular reason," he quietly said. "I just needed some peace and quiet after teaching the students."

Tonks took the hint and didn't question him further. "Hmm," she thought. "This is worth looking in too. It would be nice to try and get to know him better." As an Auror, her mind never stopped analyzing everything, trying to figure out the best solution she could.

"So…" Remus said after a while, breaking the silence. "It must be hard being an Auror, with the disguising and all."

Tonks stared at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Remus nodded his head at her hair.

Tonks suddenly laughed. Remus just noticed how bright her laugh seemed, how it made the sharp cold in the air disappear. "Oh, you mean because my hair is bright pink," she said, still laughing.

Remus smiled in mock surprise. "Did I say something funny?"

Tonks finally took pity and stopped laughing. "Yes, a lot of people ask that. You see, I'm a Metamorphagus."

This time Remus really did look surprised. "Really? That's fascinating."

Tonks grinned, "Now I can really imagine you as a professor. Yup, I can change my appearance at will. Watch."

Screwing her face as though she was thinking hard, her hair suddenly turned bright turquoise, and then transformed light orange and short.

Remus was really interested in this Auror. What other things would she surprise him with?

Tonks turned her hair back to pink, and now it was her turn to stir her tea. She was very much taken with this man. Despite his formal manner, he was clearly a gentleman, and she didn't come across many of those in her line of business. He could smile just with his eyes, the way they could light up when she spoke. They sat in silence for the rest of the evening, but they didn't feel awkward with each other.

Later, when Tonks finally said goodnight and went upstairs to go to bed, she couldn't help but smile. She very much enjoyed talking to Remus, even if they were quiet for most of it. She couldn't remember when something as simple as that could make her that happy.

And downstairs in the kitchen, Remus Lupin was thinking the very same thing.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh, where is that bloody sock?" Tonks muttered, crawling on her bedroom floor. Sticking her head underneath the bed she finally spotted it. Grabbing it, Tonks started to crawl back out but whacked her head on the bed's metal frame.

"Ouch," she groaned. Standing up and rubbing the sore spot on her head, Tonks surveyed her messy room. She didn't really have time to straighten it up, what with all the assignments Mad-Eye was giving everyone about Harry's situation at the Dursley's. Still, she couldn't wait to go downstairs and see Sirius again! She really missed her cousin, ever since he spent all those years in Azkaban… Tonks shuddered at the thought. Pausing to look at her reflection in a dusty mirror on the wall, she decided she liked her hair short and pink.

Grinning, she bounded down the stairs, but tripped over the middle step. "Oh for –" she thought as she started to fall. Suddenly, she felt a pair of strong hands catch her from behind

"Whoa there."

Steadying herself on the railing, Tonks turned herself around and looked into the warm brown eyes of Remus Lupin.

"Tonks, you git, of all the people to completely embarrass yourself in front of, why in Merlin's name did it have to be him?" she thought crossly to herself.

Blushing, she managed to stutter, "Sorry about that, I'm really clumsy,"

Remus smiled, looking distant, but said, "No worries, just be careful. And watch out for the troll-leg umbrella stand down there.

Tonks laughed, she had already managed to trip over the stupid stand twice. Honestly, she was the most un-coordinated Auror in the history of magic. Tonks smiled sheepishly, but she couldn't turn to walk away. She found herself staring into Remus' eyes, wanting to say thank-you, but somehow her brain wasn't working. She knew that something was wrong, the way he avoided her gaze when she came into the room, but she didn't know why. There was a tugging in her gut that gave her an urge to just blurt out and demand to know, but before she could, a voice rang out from downstairs.

"Well, if it isn't my baby cousin Nymphadora."

"Sirius!" Tonks ran down the rest of the stairs and threw herself into Sirius's waiting arms. "Don't call me Nymphadora," she added. Sirius chuckled.

Stepping back, he looked Tonks up and down. "You're looking well Tonksie."

She grinned at his nickname for her, "You too Sirius."

Sirius smiled back warmly, "Oh, by the way, I just ran into Mad-Eye on the way here. You should probably send an owl to him, he's been asking – well, more like shouting for you to report back to him… something about vampires?"

Tonks' eyes widened. "Oh! I forgot to give him my update on the recent vampire attacks! Oh god –"

And with that she dashed frantically out the door.

.-.

Chuckling, Sirius finally noticed Remus standing awkwardly by the banister.

"How are you, Moony?"

Remus smiled, "I haven't been called that in a long time. I'm just fine, and how are you Padfoot?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow and hit his friend on the shoulder playfully. "Well, I'm finally out of Azkaban, and I get to see my godson and klutzy cousin! What could be better?"

Remus almost laughed at the mention of Tonks' name, but managed to put on an amused expression. Sirius could be annoyingly perceptive at times, and he didn't want his friend to get suspicious.

"So," Sirius said, in an attempt to be casual. "Do you like my cousin?"

Remus opened mouth to answer, but closed it. Clearing his throat, he knew his face was slowly turning red. _Dang it. _"Why do you ask that? Don't be ridiculous," he finally managed, avoiding Sirius' stupid smirk.

"Oh let me see, when I arrived, you two were gazing lovingly into each other's eyes – "

Remus whacked Sirius not-so-playfully on the arm, "We were not!"

" –and right now you are turning bright red, my friend," Sirius finished, laughing.

Remus rolled his eyes as he walked past him to get to the freezing cold living room. Sitting on the hard black couch, he pointed his wand at the ash-filled fireplace and muttered, "Incendio." Golden flames shot from his wand into the fireplace, giving the room a warm orange glow.

"Ah, trying to set the mood for when Tonksie arrives?" winked Sirius as he sauntered into the room, sitting on the armrest of the couch.

Remus chucked a dusty pillow at his head, who barely managed to dodge it, almost falling off the couch.

"No," he growled. "For your information, you git, I am merely trying to get warm."

Sirius shrugged, clearly pleased that he had managed to annoy his friend. "Sure, and by the way Tonks likes you too."

Remus quietly said, "It's not like that Sirius, and why would you say that?"

Sirius yawned and lazily flopped onto the couch. "Oh, I can just tell. After spending so much time around the criminal kind, you get a sense of intuition. That, and I see the way she looks up at you when you come into the room, the interesting shade of red she turns…. shall I go on?"

Remus hunched forward with his chin in his hand, staring into the dancing flames. "You're just drunk again Sirius."

"That or you won't admit the truth."

"I told you," Remus muttered. "There's nothing going on between us."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "But that doesn't mean you don't want something to go on."

Remus sighed. "Yes, I do find her very interesting, but as you know, Padfoot, I won't let that happen."

Sirius chuckled. "You heartbreaker. Why not? If you love her, then pour out you heart! Tell her how you feel!"

"You bloody know the reason why I can't fall in love with her."

"Why?" Sirius pretended to be surprised. "Oh, is it because you're a werewolf?"

Taking the silence as a yes, he continued on. "Obviously, Tonks doesn't care. So make a move, you git!"

Remus sighed, then spoke. "Tonks doesn't care, because she doesn't know."

Sirius' mouth fell open, and Remus had the urge to shut it for him with a hex.

"What? She's been in the Order for, what, almost two weeks and she doesn't know?"

Remus leaned back against the sofa and remained quiet.

Sirius scanned his friend with questioning eyes, then grinned. "Or did you not tell her because you didn't want her to be afraid of you?"

Remus merely grunted in response. "Look, I don't want to hurt her, or anyone else, for that matter."

Sirius smacked him on the head. "You git, why are you so afraid? You think she can't handle herself? She's and Auror, for god's sake!"

Remus threw up his hands in exasperation. "Fine! I'll tell her! Will that get you to shut up?"

"Duh," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Well," Remus added quietly after a moment's silence between the two. "….maybe I'll tell her."


	4. Chapter 4

"So," Mad-Eye Moody gruffly said. "The situation at hand is how we are going to transport Harry from his house to here in a few days, without being too high on the radar. Obviously brooms are our best mood currently of flying, but we need a way to get Harry safely out without having his Muggle family causing a commotion. The last thing we need is a hindrance. Any suggestions?"

Seated around the kitchen table of Number 12, Grimmauld Place, were the members of the Order of the Phoenix. While the Weasley family was busy upstairs, trying to rid a particularly stubborn nest of doxies, Tonks, Remus, Sirius, and other members were busy trying to plan a particularly boring strategy, given by Mad-Eye. On Tonk's left sat Elphias Doge and Dedalus Diggle, while on her right sat Sirius, Emmeline Vance, Sturgis Podmore, and the serious-faced Hestia Jones, one of the older members of the Order. The rest were trying to cover their yawns and they sat blearily-eyed around the hard, black table. The meeting had been over an hour, and they were no closer than when they started. But now they had moved on to the subject of Harry Potter.

Sirius, apparently bored with this meeting said grinning," We could just stun them, you know. From what Harry tells me, it would be doing the world a favor," he suggested, ignoring the eye-rolling from the others. Tonks tried not to laugh. Of course, only he could come up with something like that when there was an actual serious matter.

"Padfoot, we do NOT use magic on Muggles, whether they deserve it or not!" Mad-Eye barked.

Sirius merely smirked, taking a swig from a bottle of firewhiskey.

Hestia Jones, her black-hair arranged neatly around her face, spoke, "I think what we need is to get the Muggles out of the house for a while, just until Harry gets here," Mad-Eye merely grunted in response.

"I don't think the Dursley's would care much anyways if they found Harry gone anyways," Sturgis added thoughtfully.

Sirius lazily spoke up, "Why don't we get our Metamorphagus, the lovely Nymphadora to distract them for a bit?" he winked at his cousin.

With an evil glare worthy of any Death Eater Tonks waved her wand under the table. Sirius leaned back in his chair, not noticing that his half-empty bottle of firewhiskey now turned to vinegar. He took another swig but eyes widening, he lurched forward spewing his "drink" across the table. Coughing and eyes watering, Sirius sputtered into his jacket while Tonks was laughing her head off. Even some of the other Order members were grinning.

Pointing his wand at the still choking Sirius, Kingsley murmured something under his breath, and the coughing ceased. "Never mess with an Auror Sirius, especially Tonks," he intoned gravely with a wink.

Moody banged his wooden stick on the floor a couple of times trying to get the attention back on him. Tonks turned back in his direction sticking her tongue out at her cousin, who was shooting a death glare.

"Thank you for that helpful input Tonks," Moody growled," But as we still have no actual ideas on how to get Harry Potter safely transported to the headquarters without having Death Eaters trying to murder him and possibly the entire Order, therefore ending any chance we may have in defeating the Dark Lord before the whole wizarding world is lost forever!"

"Whoa Mad-Eye," Emmeline hastily interrupted. "We're on task, really, Tonks was just joking around," she said, shooting a look at the Auror.

Mad-Eye narrowed his one good eye and growled, "This is not the time for "joking around", Nymphadora, as this is a very serious matter! And since you are the newest member of the Order, you might want to work harder in proving yourself capable."

Tonks rolled her eyes and stowed her wand back into her jacket, muttering "Don't call me Nymphadora."

Mad-Eye was now looking murderous, he had that look on his face, like the time when Tonks was in the third stage of her Auror training and accidentally set the examiner's robes on fire…. just because she was nervous and took him for a Death Eater.

Hastily Tonks said, "Look, why don't we just send them a letter by Muggle Mail saying that they've won an All-England Best-Kept Suburban Lawn Competition thingy? Or something like that…." she muttered, taking the silence as a dismissal.

"You know," Remus slowly said, "That's actually not a bad idea."

Tonks grinned at him and looked up to see Moody's expression. "Not bad Nymphadora, not bad at all…." he gruffly said.

Beaming, Tonks happily ignored the fact that he – again – called her Nymphadora. Finally she actually had a good idea that didn't end up in disaster.

.-.

Remus Lupin walked into the sitting room of the Black House looking for something to do after a boring Order meeting; mainly something that had to do with a particular Auror and Animagus. Peering into the black painted room, he noticed it was surprisingly tidy. Amidst all the dark shades of each piece of furniture and painting, a figure with bright pink hair sat on one of the many chairs, intently reading a book. Across from her, Sirius was studying the latest issue of the Daily Prophet, frowning as he scanned each page.

Quietly walking over to the sofa, he stood behind Sirius and peered over his shoulder. "What's making you so mad in that newspaper?"

Sirius jumped from his seat on the couch, startled. "Bloody hell Remus, where did you come from?"

Tonks looked up from her book and laughed at his expression, "Hello Remus" she smiled.

He smiled wearily in response, settling in beside Sirius and grabbed the newspaper from his hands. Ignoring the protests he read aloud, "Ministry Seeks Educational Reform." Underneath was a picture of a toad-faced woman dressed in every shade of pink possible, standing on the steps of Hogwarts.

Looking up at Sirius he raised his eyebrows, "Do you really hate pink that much?"

"No," he shot back, snatching the newspaper and folding it none-too gently. "That's Dolores Umbridge, the new "High Inquisitor". Harry's told me all about her."

Tonks set down her book and studied her cousin. "So?" she shrugged. "What's so bad about that?"

"The woman's an absolute nightmare!" he said. "She's been so bloody unfair to Harry!"

"I'm sure he can handle her, Sirius," Tonks gently replied. "After all, he takes after his godfather," she added with a grin.

Sirius thought about it for a moment, and then reluctantly said, "I guess so. But if she gets worse, I swear, I'm going straight to Hogwarts and showing her a few hexes myself."

Tonks grinned and returned to her book. Remus silently glanced at her, surprised at how she could calm Sirius down like that. He remembered back in the Marauder days, and how temperamental he could be. Tonks' eyes flickered up from the page at Remus, and he hastily dropped his gaze.

"What are you reading there, Tonks?" he quickly said, to cover up his embarrassment.

"Oh, nothing," she casually replied, tilting the book subtly downwards.

Sirius sprang up and grabbed the book from Tonks.

"Hey!"

Sirius looked down and read the back cover, eyebrows rising. "I didn't know you like novels, Tonksie," he said grinning.

Snatching the book back and sticking her tongue out Tonks whacked him on the head, "For your information, I like that sort of books, Sirius."

Remus innocently spoke, "I would think you were the kind to read romance novels, Tonks,"

Rolling her eyes, Tonks flopped back down in her chair. "Yeah, I know, a lot of people think that," she humphed. "Is it so wrong to like action-mystery novels?"

Remus laughed softly, "Of course not. I would never suspect that a highly-trained to kill Auror with bright pink hair wouldn't be into romantic novels," he said matter-of-factly.

Narrowing her eyes playfully, Tonks took out her wand, "See if I'm the type to hex annoying ex-professors,"

Remus held up his hands defensively, "Have mercy, I meant no harm, fair maiden," he smiled.

Sirius made a gagging motion behind Tonks "Allright, enough with the flirting, for Merlin's sake."

Tonks narrowed her eyes at Sirius, "We are not flirting, you git, you've been reading too many romance novels."

Remus burst out laughing, "You read romance novels? How could I have known you for so long and not know this?"

Sirius turned bright red and glared at Tonks, who was now giggling uncontrollably. "You little-" he threatened.

Tonks grinned, "You want to threaten an Auror, dear cousin? Because I'm dying to try out this new hex Harry showed me yesterday, and you'll be my perfect victim,"

"What does it do?" Remus curiously asked.

"Oh, it just makes you see everyone as a hippogriff," she innocently stated.

"Ohhh, so you'd spend the whole day bowing to people, and when they didn't bow back, you'd have to run, right?"

"Yup! Brilliant, isn't it?"

"Now I can really imagine Sirius doing that, especially if he comes across Kreacher," he chortled.

Tonks rolled on the floor laughing at the image, with Sirius at a total lack of words, for once in his life. "So mean Tonksie, you wound me," he dramatically held his chest, pretending to fall on his chair.

Remus settled back in the sofa, smiling to himself. This was worth keeping; the innocence and liveliness of Tonks, and how she could make anyone laugh. He admired her talent and her love for anything, but…. that couldn't count for a werewolf. His smile faded – he had tried so hard not to think about her, not to fall in love with her, but he didn't know it would be this hard. He stubbornly remained to the fact that he was a much older man, too poor and especially too dangerous. He couldn't bear the thought of what would happen if he ever got out on a full moon and came across Tonks…. no, he wouldn't think about that.

"Stop being a bloody coward Remus!" he scolded himself. "Just do it!"

"But, what she doesn't know can't hurt her, right?"

"No, that would mean you don't think she can handle herself."

"But – I don't want to harm her!"

"JUST DO IT FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!"


	5. Chapter 5

A cheery glow hovered over the busy town of Hogsmeade, wizards huddled in their thick cloaks trying to shield the bitter wind. Others merely chattered with their loved ones while scurrying in and out of the lit-up shops, peering into the windows, trying to finish their last-minute shopping before Christmas Eve ended. Tonks brushed back her long, dark green hair from out of her face and consulted her shopping list one more time. It wasn't really helpful, she thought, as it kept on shouting instructions at her and moving the letters around.

"No no, don't go to Madam Malfkins! The velvet tunics are only ten Sickles at Twilfit and Tattings!"

"Bloody hell, make up your mind, you stupid piece of parchment!" Tonks yelled at her list, throwing open the door of Flourish and Botts and stepping out onto the ice-paved road, skidding on a patch of ice and almost crashing into a tall young man carrying a wrapped-parcel in his arms.

"Yikes!" yelped Tonks as she spun around dizzily trying to focus on the person whom she just slammed into.

"Woah, what's the rush there Tonks?"

Picking herself up from the ground, she felt a steadying arm help her up, and found herself looking up into the face of Remus Lupin. He wore a patched brown overcoat, and had a shabbily knitted scarf hung loosely around his neck. Although his brown hair was more streaked with grey, his eyes twinkled at her, clearly trying to hold back a smile.

Blowing a strand of hair out of her face, Tonks grinned. "Wotcher Remus! Sorry, I was trying to get to Twilfit and Tattings before they close, but I slid on the bliddy ice…" her voice trailed off as she distractedly fiddled with her hair, and realized that Remus looked oddly vacant, as if he wasn't quite hearing her. Brushing off a couple of stray snowflakes off her jacket she picked up Remus' package from the ground and handed it to him.

"Here you go, sorry about that by the way," she grinned, taking a step back nervously before she could do any more damage.

"No problem," Remus replied quietly.

Clearing her throat to break the silence, Tonks piped up, "Hey, so after Tattings, I was about to visit the Three Broomsticks for a bit, just to warm up. You wanna come?"

Remus smiled faintly, looking distracted. "Yes, that sounds inviting, let's get out of the cold."

Grinning, Tonks started towards the crowd of people wandering in the streets, and Remus hesitated for a second, then started after her, trying to keep up with the fast-moving Metamorphagus.

.-.

Lupin sat in the dark, cold kitchen of Grimmauld Place, holding a now cold cup of tea, staring into his mug and listening to Sirius' snores beside him, and the rustle of pages from Tonks' magazine. Suddenly a snort from his drunken friends made them look up, first at Sirius, then to each other. With a small grin, Tonks returned to her magazine while Lupin stared silently out the window, watching the flurry of snowflakes brush against the window pane, then melt quickly away. Looking out into the tiny sliver of a moon, hidden by the clouds, he quietly thought back to the earlier days events, starting with his visit to the Three Broomsticks with Tonks. He was first doubtful at what he thought would be Tonks' idea of a good time, but that thought soon vanished as he began to enjoy himself. After a few rounds of firewhiskies, they soon felt more comfortable with each other and started sharing stories with each other. Tonks kept Remus smiling with amusing stories in the Auror business, but Remus cautiously refrained from sharing any himself. He knew that she had that sort of personality, that made you want to open up, but he knew he could never to that. He might accidentally mentions something about his… condition, and where would that lead to? He couldn't bear being alone any longer, especially when there was no one else to keep him company, other than his drunken friend.

Then Remus was jerked out of his thoughts as Sirius drowsily lifted up his head and gazed through unfocused eyes at the pair of them.

"Wh-what time is it?" Sirius mumbled.

Rolling her eyes at her cousin, Tonks poked him on the arm and tried not to laugh. "It's almost midnight, genius. And you've been asleep for the past half hour," her voice took a kinder tone. "Why don't you head up to bed, cuz?"

Sirius hoisted himself up slowly and then flopped onto the floor, fast asleep and snoring.

Rolling his eyes, Remus slowly stood up and walked over to Sirius, raising his eyebrows at him. Tonks laughed and made her way over to the both of them, lightly kicking his arm.

"Well.. uh.." Tonks looked up at Remus and covered her mouth laughing. "I guess we should get his arse back in bed?"

Remus held back a grin and nodded. "That probably would be best," he quietly said.

Each grabbing one arm, they propped him up and slowly made their way up the stairs, Tonks carefully avoiding the troll-leg umbrella stand. After dragging the still-sleeping Sirius to his room and putting him in bed, they made their way downstairs once again. There was an awkward silence that hung in the cold living room, only broken by the slow ticking of the ornate clock on the fireplace. Then 12 sharp rings rang out, echoing throughout the whole house.

Tonks cleared her throat and glanced at the clock, taking a deep breath. "Well…"

Remus stayed silent, and in the glow of the fire, the light cast shadows on his face, making it look dark and throwing out the scars dramatically.

Tonks, still staring at the clock noticed something above their heads out of the corner of her eye, slowly hanging from the ceiling… "Oh crud..." she thought desperately. "Please don't let it be-"

Remus looked above them and quickly looked away, his face reddening. Thinking furiously to himself, "Bloody hell, don't tell me that's-"

Tonks broke the awkward silence by moving closer to him, her hair rapidly turning a dark pink. Remus instinctively moved backwards, wishing desperately for an excuse to leave. Tonks noticed how he felt uncomfortable, and for a second hurt flashed in her eyes, but she simply said, "Merry Christmas Remus," and gave him a small kiss on his cheek. Turning red herself, she swiftly hurried out of the room and melted into the shadows, headed back to her parent's home for the holidays.

Remus slowly lifted a pale hand to his cheek where he felt a slight tingling sensation. Cursing himself, Remus stared into the dancing flames, silently wishing that this scene had never happened. He felt something stirring inside of him, not unlike the same feeling that he got whenever a full moon arrived. He felt something strange… something that he thought he had buried ever since his days at Hogwarts… this was not good.


	6. Chapter 6

Remus paced agitatedly in the cold living room of Grimmauld Place, much to his best friend's disdain.

"Remus, for the love of Merlin, will you stop that? You're tearing holes in my ancient engraved carpet." Sirius smirked, watching him with amusement from the couch.

Remus stopped and looked down at the floor, like he was surprised he was pacing. "Oh sorry, I didn't realize." he quietly said, and took a seat next to his friend.

Sirius snorted in indignation "Sure, you were just patiently waiting for some mail to arrive?" he raised one eyebrow suggestively.

Remus was caught off guard, but tried not to show it. "Well, I just-" he said, trying to think fast.

Sirius leaned back lazily and folded his arms behind his head. Glancing out the window his face lit up in mock surprise.

"Oh, would you look at this, the mail's here!"

A large brown screech owl flew through the window and deposited several letters on the couch, and after nibbling on a platter of Molly's stale pumpkin pasties, it flew hastily out the window. Remus reached for the stack of letters, trying not to show his eagerness.

Sirius merely smirked at him and watched him with a mock pity.

Remus neatly stacked the letters back onto the table, eyeing a rather shocking pink envelope and sat back down on the couch, as far as he could get away from Sirius. Opening it, he recognized Tonk's neat printing with a slight lean to it, as if she was in a rush but took the time to make it presentable.

_Dear Remus,_

_Wotcher! How's life in the happy home of the Blacks? Sirius still moping around or did I trust you knocked enough sense into him, what with you being a top-notch professor? Anyways, things at the Ministry are hectic, (as always). Can you believe Fudge wants all the Aurors to stay in hiding! He completely ignores all the obvious signs of the Dark Lord rising again, and I'm about to go completely mental! On a happier note though, Kingsley stopped by my desk to tell me that the notorious mass-murderer has been spotted up north! Remus, you don't know how hard I tried not to laugh. Ask Sirius if he fancies the Himalayas…_

Remus let out a laugh and scanned the rest of the letter, holding back a smile. Sirius tugged the letter out of his hands and read it quickly, his face instantly contorting into a grin.

"Well, it looks as if my dear cousin is going slightly mental." he shook his head with pity but laughed all the same.

Remus merely shrugged and slipped the letter into his pockets, and then he turned his head and noticed Sirius staring intently at him.

"What?" he asked, frowning.

"Did you tell her?" Sirius suddenly said.

Remus feigned a look of innocence "What do you mean?" he asked, dreading the answer

Sirius smirked, not fooled for one second "I mean the price of cauldrons these days," he sarcastically says. "I'm talking about your condition!"

Remus cringed, but shook his head. "No I did not." he quietly says.

Sirius let out a groan "Why not? I mean, if you two are going to be together, she should at least know."

Remus stared into the empty fireplace, his mind flashing back to the night on Christmas Eve, right in that exact spot and sighs.

"I'm not going to let that happen. She-" he tried to explain, breaking his gaze from the fireplace. "She deserves better, and that doesn't include me."

Sirius's look softened, but still had a slight mock to it. "I'm pretty sure that Tonksie doesn't want 'better', if you know what I'm saying.." shooting a smirk at him, Sirius got up and headed upstairs, probably to burn out another name on his family tree.

Remus didn't reply. After all, how could he come up with a comeback to that?

.-.

"Happy Birthday Sirius!" Tonks yelled, attacking him in a hug as he walked through the kitchen door. Steadying himself, his face broke out into a wide smile and hugged her back.

"You remembered!" he laughed. "I'm surprised you could, what with all the chaos of being an Auror." he winked.

Tonks grinned as well; it was good to hear her cousin laugh, ever since he did nothing for the past months but sit around and mope. He wasn't too happy about being caged up in his old home, so she would try and visit as often as she could. She was so happy her hair was bright pink, with light purple streaks.

Leading him to the table, she grinned proudly. She had spent the whole day decorating the dreary kitchen, so now it was livened up with multiple streamers and decorations that spun and glittered, special delivery from the Weasley twins. Sirius sat down and looked up at Remus, who was standing awkwardly near the door, smiling but didn't want to intrude. Tonks glanced up and smiled. She pushed him over to the table.

"Sit down, don't just stand there!"

Remus let out a soft chuckle. "Alright Nymphadora, I'm sitting."

Tonks ignored his use of her first name, but whacked him playfully on the arm. Leaving the room, she brings out a largely decorated cake, carefully avoiding the hazardous chairs in front of her. Placing it on the table, she stands back and beams.

"Did you make this Tonksie?" Sirius raised one eyebrow at her, cautiously looking it over as if it might explode.

Tonks scowled at her cousin and sat down "Yes as a matter of fact I did." she says proudly. "And without magic."

A smile tugs at the corner of Remus's mouth, and glanced at Sirius as if to say, _"You first."_

Sirius steeled himself and cut a slice, before placing it delicately on a plate. Slowly taking a piece with a fork, he lifts it to his mouth dramatically.

Rolling her eyes, Tonks pushes the fork in his mouth, forcing him to eat it "For the love of Merlin Sirius, just eat it!"

Sirius laughed and swallowed a look of surprise on his face. Tonks looked over at Remus, who was eating the cake piece by piece.

"So..?" she worriedly asks. "Is it good?"

Remus smiled, amused at the look on her face. "It's delicious Tonks."

Smiling in relief, she glances back to Sirius, who gives her a thumbs up wordlessly, since his mouth was full. Grinning she bounded up from her chair

"Don't move, I'll be right back with your present."

Sirius nodded and shoveled more cake into his mouth, much to a laughing Remus.

Tonks ran in, tripping over a broomstick lying on the ground but steadied herself on the counter, breathing in relief. Placing a small wrapped parcel in front of him, she sat eagerly beside Remus.

"Well go on, open it!"

Sirius slowly undid the wrapper and let out a laugh of delight. Holding up a small hexagon-shaped card, he looked it over in delight. In the center was a picture of him, changing into a great black dog. Written on below was a short paragraph:

_Sirius Black: known from the entire world as a mass-murderer, this playful and somewhat sarcastic bloke enjoys long walks in the sunshine, reading poetry and contemplating life as a dog. He has scraggly brown hair, an old-fashioned hairstyle dating back to the first century. His favourite food is day-old treacle tart, with a nice bottle of firewhiskey…_

His eyes scanned the rest of the card and fingered the picture, laughing.

Remus smiled, "It was Tonks's idea. You always said when we were young how you wanted to be on a Chocolate Frog Card, and she did some magic." he quietly says, a happy feeling inside of him.

Sirius got up from the table and gave a beaming Tonks a big hug, winking at Remus over his shoulder. All in all, he couldn't remember a day when he had ever felt happier.


	7. Chapter 7

Tonks stretched tiredly and let out a yawn, leaning back in her chair, surveying the piles of messy reports piled up on her desk which threatened to fall over any second. Ever since the mass Death Eater breakout from Azkaban a couple of weeks ago, Mad-Eye ordered all the experienced Aurors into the field, stationed in various locations around Hogsmeade. They were supposed to be watching out for any Death Eaters or Dark magic of the sorts, but she knew they were all watching one place, Hogwarts. She twirled a quill distractedly between her fingers, letting her mind drift off to other daydreams.. namely, Remus Lupin. "Just a few more minutes." she thought to herself "Then you can go home.. well, wherever home is." She found herself drawn more often to the dark halls of Grimmauld Place, and no matter how many times she denied it to herself, Tonks knew that she wasn't staying there because of Sirius' mother in her screaming portrait. She sighed and put down her quill, staring at it with a slight misery. Remus was always there with a cup of tea and a small smile to greet her, whenever she came back from a rough day at the office, but lately he seemed more.. withdrawn. His hair was lined with more gray than usual, and his eyes lost the merry twinkle whenever he smiled. Remus was always weary after he disappeared once a month, but she didn't notice it that much, until now. Her hair subconsciously turned a dark blue and sighed. He even seemed more tired in his letters! Two or three-word answers filled the small page, and she felt she would go mental if she caught him leaving the room one more time whenever she came in.

"Oh hello Nymphadora, still working your pretty head off?" a smooth, sly voice cut into her thoughts and she rolled her eyes.

"Hello Kaventry." she said bitterly. "What brings you here, and how soon can you leave?"

"Feeling a little hostile now, are we?" he smirked.

Tonks huffed, clearly annoyed. Ever since she became an Auror, Kaventry has been a thorn in her side.. literally. She had once been forced to hit him with a Stinging Jinx, when he wouldn't stop tugging on her hair, saying "Make it blue! Make it purple!" His dearest ambition was to be the next Minister of Magic, but honestly, she's seen house-elves more talented than he was.

"So anyways.." he continued, leaning against her desk "I was just wondering if you wanted to go out sometime?" he winked, obviously thinking he could win someone over with a smile.

Tonks let out a derisive laugh "With you? No thanks, I'd rather go on a date with a dementor. At least it would be funnier than you." She didn't really mean to be cruel, but lately she was in a bad mood more often, since Sirius was constantly depressed, what with Harry's problems at Hogwarts.

Kaventry's face darkened "Oh that's right, you're going out with that Lupin bloke, aren't you." he sneered

Tonks tried her hardest to keep her temper in control, but her hair unwillingly turned a deep shade of red, which made Kaventry smirk even more.

"We are not dating, you prat." she said slowly.

Kaventry sighed dramatically "Well, I don't blame you.. I mean, who would want to date something like _that_?"

Tonks started, looking up in surprise "What do you mean?" she snapped

A mock surprise slowly appeared on his face "You mean you don't know?" he gasped, covering his mouth with his large hand "You've been living with him-" "What?!" "-for months now," he continued, ignoring her outburst, "And you don't know?"

Standing up she gripped her wand tightly in her hand "Either spit it out, or for Merlin's sake, I will shut your abnormally large mouth for you." she warned.

Kaventry held up his hands defensively "Remus is a werewolf." he smirked.

Tonk's mouth fell open and stumbled backwards "He's.. what?" she said, momentarily stunned

"He's a werewolf." he repeated impatiently.

Tonks sat on the edge of her desk, feeling the colour rapidly drain from her face and her hands automatically clenched into shaky fists. No wonder why he was avoiding her! He didn't want her to know! She stood up abruptly, ignoring the Sneakoscope she promptly knocked over.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to go." she says coldly, grabbing her jacket and wand.

Taking a step back Kaventry winked. "Alright, tell me how it goes dearie."

Tonks pushed past him and headed for the nearest fireplace, Flooing directly to her home. She had a heated debate inside her head. Should she tell him she knew he was a werewolf, or wait it out and see if he cares for her or not? Pulling her cloak tighter around her, she sat in her favourite chair of the living room, staring blankly at the fireplace. Yes. She would wait. For now..

.-.

Tonks pushed her hair out of her tear-filled eyes, letting out a sob. She held a slightly crumpled picture of Sirius and her when they were little in her hand, staring at it with anguish. No.. she still couldn't believe her cousin was gone from her life.. She couldn't believe it. The moment he fell through the hazy veil in the Department of Mysteries, his life taken by her wretched relative, Bellatrix, she felt a familiar numbness course through her. He had always been the life of the party, literally, and she could recall the memories they shared when they were younger.

'_Sirius-ly Tonksie,' he grinned, making his five-year old cousin giggle. He picked her up lightly, surprisingly gentle for a child, and twirled her around, smiling at her laughs and claps her hands. 'You can be the Minister.' he teases, making her shake her head stubbornly. 'No!' she yells, hitting the carpet beside her. 'You can be an Auror.' he grins, laughing at her same reaction. 'You can be the headmaster of Hogwarts!' he yells. 'No no no!' she shouts, between fits of laughter. 'Alright, what does Tonksie want to be?' he asks innocently, already knowing her answer. 'Sirius!' she decides, her hair turning a light pink, and they both burst into laughter._

"Tonks..?" a quiet voice asks, a light cutting into the darkness of the library and a tall shadow enters the room, making her turn her head away, the tears streaming down her face even more.

"Tonks.." Remus walks slowly over to her, feeling his heart break a little as he sees her crying. Surprise momentarily flashes in his eyes; he was more used to seeing her being the strong one, always determined, but he couldn't blame her.. His best friend was gone.. But at least he still had someone..

"Oh Remus!" she cries out, and forgetting the chill between them she throws her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder.

Temporarily stunned, Remus stood there for a few agonizing seconds, then holds her tightly, wrapping his arms comfortingly around her. "Shh.. It's okay Tonks, it's going to be okay.." he soothes, stroking her hair a little, feeling tears prickling in his eyes.

"H-He's gone!" she gasps, squeezing her eyes shut. "S-Sirius! I m-miss him so much!"

Letting out a choked noise in the back of his throat he nods "I.. know. I miss him too.." he quietly says, still holding her tightly.

Tonks pulled back suddenly, her eyes still filled with tears but now a slight anger shows on her face. "F-First my friend was killed in a-a Death Eater raid, then S-Sirius left me.." she chokes out "And now you've p-pushed me away!"

Remus stiffened and his hands clench tightly. He knew this would come up eventually, but all he could do is avoid it.. "I-I'm not pushing you away.." he says quietly, but curses himself for letting out such a lame excuse.

Tonks scoffed, and takes a step back. "You're _not_ pushing me away?" she exclaims "So why has it seemed like you leave whenever I enter a room? Or that you always look so sad whenever you see me? Or the fact that you barely write to me when I'm on missions, like you don't care whether I'm still alive or not?!" she says loudly, folding her arms across her chest and dares him to argue.

Remus fidgeted nervously and looked down, gritting his teeth, clearly trying to control himself. "Because.. I can't be with you."

Glaring at him, hurt is apparent on her face, "And why not?" she says, knowing the answer but waits to see his reaction.

"Because.." he mutters. "I'm a werewolf." he finally lets out, studying the dark carpet intently and doesn't want to look up to see her expression.

"I know."

Remus looked up in surprise, and Tonks was relieved to see his mask, that usually covered his emotions so well, breaking a little. "You.. know?"

Feeling some relief wash over her she nods and takes a step forward, looking up into his brown eyes "I found out.. a couple of weeks ago.." she softly says

Remus fought the urge to smile and shook his head "No, no it still does not matter. I-I am too dangerous to be with you.. with anyone!" he bursts out

Slowly lifting up her hand, she settles it gently on his face. "I know, and I don't care." she whispers, seeing the shock break through on his face. Reaching up, she softly kisses his lips, her hair turning back to a vivid pink. Remus, startled, he stood in shock for a moment, then returned the kiss, tightening his grip on her. She runs her hand through his brown hair, feeling a warmth spread through her, banishing the cold chill that lingered in the house. Tonks finally breaks their hold and looks up at him, tentatively searching his eyes for any expression. He lifts a hand to his face slowly and shakes his head, breaking out of the dream-like state.

"No, no this-this can't happen. I-I can't-" he stammers, backing away towards the door.

Tonks reached a tentative hand out to him and was startled to see him stiffen. "But-"

Pain flashed through his eyes and he rubbed the back of his neck, denying the fact that he very much wanted to kiss her again, but it took all of his will to step towards the door. He still felt a slight tingle where she kissed him, and for a moment he felt.. loved.

But taking a deep breath, Remus quietly said "I'm sorry.. I can't do this.." turning swiftly around, he disappeared from the library, leaving a very confused and heartbroken Tonks behind.


	8. GAME: PAUSED

Hello, all you lovely readers and reviewers :) I am dreadfully sorry to say this, but I will be currently putting this story on hold.. I am trying to write new stories for Harry Potter, and other fictions, plus I will not be having as much time as I need to write a chapter you all deserve to enjoy. I promise I will continue adding new chapters, but for now, this story is paused. Terribly sorry for the inconvenience, and feel free to send angry comments to my PM inbox. I'll probably delete them afterwards, but I will remember it's the thought that counts. :P Anyways, thank you for your understanding and hopefully I will have new one-shots and stories to post, for all you wonderful people to read.


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